VMA mentionables

Another year of VMAs, another list of critiques and observations. Shall we begin?

1. Lil' Jon is in serious need of a hug, because apparently Mom and Dad didn't give him enough. Get this guy out of the shot! Quit hogging all the attention! Stop talking when other people are talking! That's what too much Crunk Juice does to you, kids. Just say 'no' to crunk.
2. P. Diddy Pop Daddy has trouble himself with giving others the spotlight when it's deserved. He and my baby Mase completely sabatoged the Black Eyed Peas interview with Sway. He actually smacked Mase out of the way. What up, world! Way to show 'em some manners, Sway!
3. I think that this will be the year of the Rock Violin. You wait and see...Yellowcard is going to set trends.
4. Holy unnecessary intro for Shaq! Everyone in Detroit just sat back and laughed...yeah, he's not that tough 'cause WE HAVE THE CHAMPIONSHIP, AND YOU DON'T!
5. Chaka Khan with Kanye - she was way out of tune. Chaka mad? Chaka real mad!
6. Bruce Willis and P. Diddy are going to start golfing together. Best random publicity stunt of the night.
6.5. Why did Jet use leftover extras from the White Stripes MTV Movie Award performance during THEIR performance?
7. Lenny Kravitz was wearing a dead pheasant on his back. Were Ron and I the only ones distrubed by this?
8. You couldn't get away from the creepy cult undertones of the Polyphonic Spree. It was uncomfortable to watch, and Jesus was actually playing trombone. Particularly frightening was the look on Mr. Spree's face after he was hoisted into the air. Half utter and complete terror, half touched by the hand of God...sheesh.
9. I'm still waiting for Outkast to announce their breakup. Every time they approach a podium, I lean forward and wait...no dice this time.
10. No Rick James tribute from Chappelle (MAJOR disappointment)...but we did get a "celebration, bitches." R.I.P, Super Freak.

BEST performances of the night: Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder. Christina and Nelly. Need I say more?