Things I'm having trouble understanding

First: Why do major sports celebrations usually involve not only cheering and hollering but the burning of cars and the shattering of store-front windows? Did I not get that memo? Does celebration=destruction of public property? This is not just in light of the University of Conneticuit happy-happy-joy-joy riot. Hockey, soccer...it doesn't make any sense!

Second: John Peter Lewis - GET THAT DUMB MOTHERFUCKER OFF THE STAGE AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I just get more and more incensed with each performance. And if I recall correctly, he's butchered Elton John twice - once with "Tiny Dancer" and tonight with "Rocket Man." Yep, those ARE two of Elton John's best songs , "Tiny Dancer" being the greatest song ever written in the history of the world. JPL - Just Please Listen to reason and stop, now. But LaToya is smoking everyone - dynamite. She's got it in the bag, yo.

Third: I flipped out after seeing Bob Dylan featured in a Victoria's Secret commercial. In a word: utterly ridiculous. Oops, that's two. Sorry, he's not sexy. He's a rock legend, but not sexy. He looks tired all the time. And by the way, not sexy. Vicki's playing a horrible joke on all of us. Maybe that's the secret: she thinks that Bob Dylan is sexy. He's not.

If anyone can help shed some light on any of these issues, please do. I'm not trying to judge, just to understand. Tomorrow, I get my first taste of Chappelle's Show. So much hype...