I Heart Pirates

Yeah, ya'll heard me. A beautiful face, a fashion mullet, a black neck scarf and pirate boots. You are from NYC and I'm totally crushing. Diego, the lead singer of Elefant, has to be scoring major ass every night of the tour. With only 35 people in the audience last night, it mattered not; he probably received action from all the ladies in the house, except from me, natch. The eyes, the cheekbones, the way he watches his mic cord twirl around and around and around: butter, people. I shant tell a lie; he's arty as fuck, but I'm still crushing. Oh, and the music was great; I loved both of the new songs. The drummer was en fuego, though horribly out of place - a man possessed by the pure passion of drumming out of control. He was holding it down for the "D" with his t-shirt. Someone went shopping at Pure Detroit earlier that evening! And the wrestlers...I probably won't do it justice here, so let's just say there were stocky shirtless men in tight flame-embroidered shorts carrying championship belts walking though The Shelter for Sunday Night Heat, St. Andrews-style.

And I have to admit that I am currently torn between my relationship with Ron and my relationship with my brand new suede body pillow. Both comforting in their own unique way, but it's highly likely that Ron will win me over, since he talks and breathes and buys me things. It's looking like the beginning of the end, pillow.

My new favorite thing: Will Ferrell as James Lipton. "I think you're confusing too, but it's the kind of confusing that makes me feel good." Bless you, William. And if you don't own "Old School," leave your homes and find some enlightenment at the local Best Buy. Vince Vaughn is a friggin' genius (for another great Vaughn performance, watch "Made" with Jon Favreau; one of the most painfully funny performances I've ever seen.)

Also, for all you nay-sayers out there, 20th Aniversary edition of Trivail Pursuit is really fun! I actually won four pies. For me, that's a personal victory. And to quote my friend Cyn Dog, my final dying words have to be "You look cool....uhhhhh." Battle Royale, baby!

Can you believe it's been 10 FUCKING YEARS since Kurt Cobain died??? Thanks a lot, Spin. I'm officially old and I'm not even a quarter century yet. Poops.

Okay, I'm outta here. Rawk on.