GRAMMY HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS/RE-TOUCHES:

1. Prince did not have "JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD" on the screen behind him for people to deal with. Poops.

2. 50 Cent is officially wins Asshole of the Year. Best New Artist? No, being shot nine times doesn't entitle you to a Grammy. Now sit down, Gunnit.

3. Justin has to rehash the Superbowl Breast and apologize or else he wouldn't be able to attend the show. You're sorry, big whoop. But he did play
"Senorita," one of my favorites.

4. The White Stripes proved that even though they didn't take home a fancy trophy, they are the next step in human evolution. Brilliant performance.

5. Why doesn't Richard Marx age? I'm just saying...

6. Someone TOTALLY got fired last night. You're not allowed to have microphones and monitors not work. Celine had to tone it down - no monitors!

7. Beyonce tried so hard to top Christina, but to no avail.

8. Good safety move on CBS's part in keeping Christina's exceptance speech on a head and shoulders shot. Her twins defied gravity.

9. A tribute to funk? YES! George Clinton is still alive? A miracle. Come on people, he is a government experiment.

10. Chris Martin's endorsement of John Kerry. Sorry, Dean, NOW you don't have a chance.

11. I'm going to risk sounding like an insensitive jerk; but just because people are dead, it doesn't mean they should win a Grammy. I thought others were more deserving. Not because they're alive, but because they are BETTER MUSICIANS.

12. And the most ridiculous moment of the night: the RIAA's bullshit speech and the "unvealing" of the RIAA's anti-piracy PSA. So if we download music, the music industry WILL CEASE TO EXIST AND MUSIC AS WE KNOW IT WILL DISAPPEAR? Quit trying to scare us! Don't you have 11 year old kids to sue? A complete waste of time and I wish I had those 3 minutes of my life back.

Overall, happy that Outkast took top prize but I still ache for some White Stripes lovin.' Oh well...people will just have miss out. Their loss, not ours.

Happy Monday!