Apply within for rock and roll

I'm starting a band. It is called Liz and the Super Fucking Awesomes. Tell me what intrument you play and why you want to be in my band. Requirements include that you apply...that's all. All applicants receive a free cheetah. Instruments preferred: the key-tar, the digeridoo, the triangle, 12-string bass guitar, and the kazoo. No instrument will be turned away. Just think of us like The Polyphonic Spree, but scarier and without the robes. I'm thinking florescent leather corsets and/or stonewashed denim...but I'm open to any suggestions. We open up for Stop Whining on their North American tour starting in June.

Thanks,
Band Management.