VMA mentionables

Another year of VMAs, another list of critiques and observations. Shall we begin?

1. Lil' Jon is in serious need of a hug, because apparently Mom and Dad didn't give him enough. Get this guy out of the shot! Quit hogging all the attention! Stop talking when other people are talking! That's what too much Crunk Juice does to you, kids. Just say 'no' to crunk.
2. P. Diddy Pop Daddy has trouble himself with giving others the spotlight when it's deserved. He and my baby Mase completely sabatoged the Black Eyed Peas interview with Sway. He actually smacked Mase out of the way. What up, world! Way to show 'em some manners, Sway!
3. I think that this will be the year of the Rock Violin. You wait and see...Yellowcard is going to set trends.
4. Holy unnecessary intro for Shaq! Everyone in Detroit just sat back and laughed...yeah, he's not that tough 'cause WE HAVE THE CHAMPIONSHIP, AND YOU DON'T!
5. Chaka Khan with Kanye - she was way out of tune. Chaka mad? Chaka real mad!
6. Bruce Willis and P. Diddy are going to start golfing together. Best random publicity stunt of the night.
6.5. Why did Jet use leftover extras from the White Stripes MTV Movie Award performance during THEIR performance?
7. Lenny Kravitz was wearing a dead pheasant on his back. Were Ron and I the only ones distrubed by this?
8. You couldn't get away from the creepy cult undertones of the Polyphonic Spree. It was uncomfortable to watch, and Jesus was actually playing trombone. Particularly frightening was the look on Mr. Spree's face after he was hoisted into the air. Half utter and complete terror, half touched by the hand of God...sheesh.
9. I'm still waiting for Outkast to announce their breakup. Every time they approach a podium, I lean forward and wait...no dice this time.
10. No Rick James tribute from Chappelle (MAJOR disappointment)...but we did get a "celebration, bitches." R.I.P, Super Freak.

BEST performances of the night: Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder. Christina and Nelly. Need I say more?

Three days...

...until the VMA! Like watching a pop culture train wreck before your eyes! Live television at its finest! With no Waynes Brothers! Just let Chris Rock host every show! You'll thank me later!

Crash into...poop?

This has to be the worst day of your life! Holy shit! No really, DMB needs to have a serious chat with their busdriver about what is a "no, no" when it comes to public dumpage. Mr. Matthews, this can't turn out well. If I was in that boat, my day would officially be ruined.

Where did my day go?

I love being busy!!! Look where my day went...out the freakin' window. I'm pumped and ready to start planning the Dodgeball season...if we have enough players. It's become an ordeal trying to get people past the early Sunday games. The earliest they'll be is 9AM, the latest is 12:30PM. What a way to start out your Sunday morning...a day of rest? Hell no, more like a day of ducking and weaving through a maze of high-flying rubber balls. Amen to that, brother! I've got the sign up sheet...*cricket*...*cricket*

Time to wrap up a few things and go wedding present shopping (yep, another one!) at Target, and try not to find anything unreasonable to purchase. Damn you, Target! You do it all the time - you suck me in and never let go.

Okay, enought ramblings...later homies!

Friends and nuptials

The past year has been full of them. Standing up in two, attending two, with one coming up next month in Cadillac. This past Sunday was a huge blast from the past, complete with Saxe/Herrig homies (one was the groom, the other was drooling over Micheal Phelps...Stuart.), ridiculously mindless humor with old roomies (Cyn and Jax - your lives are forfeit.) and random BCA reconnecting (John Stiles? Where have you been? AND ERIN KENNEDY! Totally unexpected, and welcomed just the same). It was so much fun. Pounding on tables, dancing Irish jigs, drinking in hotel bars while listening to HORRIBLE lounge renditions of Linda Rondstat and Green Day covers. I was completely exhausted on Sunday...a true sign of an eventful weekend.

The wedding was great - Mikey is a grown up, Stuart looked fabulous in his tux, and the food was great, and so was the soda...and the coffee...man, I do miss having an open bar. But in this case, when your in a dry county, no luck...no really, it's the law. Laws suck. Especially those that don't let you drink. Oh, and there was a strict 'no rock/no rap/no R and B' policy, which was groovy at first. A little Marvin Gaye, a dash of Al Green, then Motown...and more Motown...and more Motown. Where's my "Come On, Ride the Train?" Where's my "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems?" But seriously, everyone had a great time and I connected with people that I haven't seen in a hella long time - we picked up right where we left off. I'm one lucky bitch, that's for sure.

And Now For Something Completely Different: Does anyone know what's up with the "Detroit Bros. Custom Cycles welcomes The Discovery Channel" banner on Woodward, north of 9 Mile?" Is "American Choppers" here?

When you live with a man, does he always seem to yawn like a hunger bear - deep, semi-grumbly and loud? Just curious...

On the road...again!

Off to G.R for a wedding-slash-cool kid reunion. My old homie from the Saxe/Herrig front desk days (daze?) is getting married, so I except it to be good times. Mikey's all grown up now! It's always a treat when I get to see my gras (Cyn and J - word!) for some wild and wacky adventures. I hope nothing gets broken and I don't end up with an scars...that would suck.

Big ups to Carly Patterson - for all you Olympic nerds, like me, track and field is this weekend. Set the VCR/TiVO/recording device of choice.

Until Sunday!

People vs. The raccoons

It all started with a long, lazy, leisurely drive through the Leelenau peninsula, toward a week of relaxation, becoming one with the forest and with the clear waters of Lake Michigan.

Bullshit.

Day one: Car breaks down 14 miles from the campsite. AAA has a cow because I can't pinpoint the EXACT crossroad of where we are (it's Northern Michigan...there are no crossroads!). Nice man in pick-up stops to help us, but makes some random comment to Jax about impregnating her - according to this mechanical genius, we're "totally screwed." Thanks, asshat. Van's Garage comes to the rescue, though Leland has been out of power all day long. We explain that we have a campsite to stay at, but we just need to get there. He tows us to Northport (8 miles south of our campsite) where we meet Steve, the head (and only) mechanic in town. Turns out all of northern Leelenau County is out of power, so he can't even look at it until tomorrow after he gets caught up. We unload the station wagon, load up Steve's pickup truck, and he drops us off at the campsite. By now, it's about 7pm.

Oh, and the night raged on. We have a pretty descent with no real waterproofing. So, of course, it rains...and rains...and rains. And our tarp is in the station wagon. Shit. We take every blanket and towel we have to protect all of our clothing and essential goods. There is a leak in the top of the tent, so we strategically place towels in the middle of the tent, protecting our sleeping bags. We range from anger to laughter, anger to laughter. We're stuck in the tent for about an hour. We get out, start to build a ranging campfire, almost ready to enjoy some sizzle brats, and more fucking rain. The embers raged on, and we ended up with a decent fire, which we bred for one purpose only - s'more, ya'll. Only the campfire light is glowing at our site, and we hear a rustle. Jax sprints off, swearing and chasing some unknown assailant. Not 10 feet from us, our arch enemy, The Raccoon, stole our ENTIRE BAG OF MARSHMELLOWS. We had to beg the campsite across from us for marshmellows. They took much pity on us, and we were entrusted with an entire cup of marshmellows (they were so generous that three days later, we got 3 huge bundles of their leftover firewood. Karma points.). Well, the 'coon came back in the middle of the night and took our hamburger buns. No marshmellows, no possibility of hamburgers. And most of our possessions soaking wet. And we're only on Day Two.

*Deep sigh and banging head against my desk.* But, nay, am I to let one day of HELL bring down this vacation? Of course not. Jax's uncle came and took us to town where we regrouped and bought more buns, more mallows and Coronas. We got the car back on Wednesday, and it was smooth sailing from there on out. The highlights: tiny town gallery/boutique shopping, six mile dune hike to Lake Michigan at Sleeping Bear Dunes, campfire acoustic jams, tasty Coronas by the fire, awesome scenic drives (where you can see sky for miles...I didn't know we had that much sky!), biking around the perimeter of Mackinac Island and spending an entire day there, starting a great book (Our Band Could Be Your Life), playing with Jax's Dad's new puppy on the beach. Now, THAT's what I call a vacation.

First day back at work...busy, but always difficult. I have to catch up on all the hot blogs. I'm pretty far behind the times. Good be be back, though I could do without the traffic and the waking up early, but that's why this is 'reality.'

I'm happy that Hefron took LCS home, though my heart did have a sweet spot for Gary. Other than that, I didn't miss the news, or media, or politics. Man, Thoreau and Emerson really knew how to get down.

Time to watch women's gymnastics...I'm an Olympic fool! Hope to see you all soon...I'm feeling very anti-social since being out of the loop.

What I did on my summer vacation

Oh, ya'll won't believe it if I told you. And I will...tomorrow, when I am less tired. It's a doozy...but I ended up having a great time! I nub noo, Jax! Get ready for storytime!

I'll be going now.

Good-bye, so long, talk to you soon! I will be gone starting tomorrow on production, then off camping, then off once again to Mackinac Island. Must commence packing and Target shopping. Until then, everyone get into lots of trouble and I'll see you back here, same time, same place, on August 16th!

Stimulating conversation

I love having dinner at my parents' house. In the last four hours, we've discussed Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, the humanization of computers, can computers really 'think,' Kasparov vs. Deep Blue, what a mental case Bobby Fisher turned out to be (he's one crazy motherfucker), the saddest movie ever made, and the validity of comic books in adult literature.

Now, I'm tired...getting mentally prepared for packing tomorrow and going on a major Target run. I don't know what I would do with strip malls; thanks Madison Heights - it's a lovely night in the Midwest!

Nothing like a midnight arts and crafting to put me to sleep...nighty night, everyone.

iTunes Update

Tonight's downloads:
Keane "Somewhere Only We Know" and "Bedshapes"
Mase "Feels So Good"
Maria Mena "You're the Only One"
Hives "Walk Idiot Walk"

I will be playing "Bedshapes" to death. Good thing Ron will have a two week break from me starting on Wednesday...

It never ceases to amaze me, the endless energy that toddlers harness. My friend Renee's son turned the big 0-3 today, and I decided I need to have children around me in order to have a workout regimen that yields decent results. I'm on the trampoline, I'm playing football, I'm back on the trampoline, I'm running through a sprinkler, I'm playing tag...then back on the trampoline. Total fitness!

Last week was great...two shows, a baseball game, the Junior Federline Club, Carrot Top, Ferndale/Royal Oak sale shopping, THE VILLAGE...next stop, Camp Ladore in lovely, scenic Waymart, PA (Salvation Army summer camp on over 500 acres - ropes course, rock climbing, lake activities, petting zoo...yes, petting zoo), then Lelenau for camping, then St. Ignaus for Mackinac Island fun. Wah. Hoo. Tired just thinking about it. So worth it.

Time to work on more belts...24 usable hours in every day...

Listen to me

Go see "The Village." I can't say anymore, from fear of giving anything away. It will blow your mind - it's unreal. Drop off the kids, feed the dog, and leave your house this instant. If you are reading this right now, you are not in the car, on the way to the theater.

What are you waiting for?