Funny s*** of the day

Who needs a hug? C'mon, Bright Eyes, YOU need a hug! (via Stereogum)

Dial up? F*** off!

I have seen the future and it is the beauty of DSL. I can't believe how much faster it is. Average podcast download time with Earthlink: 30 minutes. With DSL: 7 FLIPPING MINUTES! Never again will I yell out in frustration or pace around my apartment, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Plus, it's 60 degrees today. Life, as they say, is good.

Striped shirt guy - revealed!

This is the funniest fucking thing I've seen all week, possibly will be for the rest of the month. Thanks, Big Matt!

This concludes our broadcast day.

Ron and I are finally entering the wonderful world of DSL, and have now cancelled our dial-up account. There will be no internet at the Maplehurst until next Tuesday, so posts will be few. Sorry, folks. BUT, I will leave you with a review from one, if not THE, more respected and revered writers of our day, Russ "Poison Pen" McNamara. Please read his stellar review of the one-night-only SFA show at Crank n' Wine before heading our to prepare for their North American tour with Stop Whining. Enjoy, bitches!

I was very skeptical of this band when I first heard of them, I mean with a name like they have you're setting a dangerous precedent. Needless
to say when I went downtown to the Crank 'n Wine I didn't really know
what to expect. The buzz around TSFAs had been building for some time.
C'nW was packed...all of the Mods were out including some local rock
dignitaries. I spoke to some and they pretty much echoed my
sentiments--Who are The Super Fucking Awesome and why is this band so
hot right now? 15 minutes later the show started...or at least I
thought it did. A booming voice came over the PA..."Enjoy the laser
lights." And immediately we were dropped into darkness...slowly this
feedback/sound/music started to build. It was a sight resembling that
of an Andy Warhol acid test. This went on for about 15 minutes...there
wasn't a dry eye in the room. Mostly because they were watering from
all of the weed smoke. Then there was silence. And then a deafening
roar behind me...the first chords of It Sucks Because it Sucks Fucker echoed throughout the
bar as Emily Heartwarmer was being lifted up on a platform from behind
the bar. I was awestruck...in between chords she actually managed to
mix to rum and cokes. Then she stopped and acapella-style the vocals
started with the opening verse, "Why do I have to explain myself, it
sucks because it sucks fucker!!!" Liz was in good form tonight
everyone could tell just from that one line. Then the thrashing
started...not from the crowd but from the band...rocking hard riffs
from unexpected places...the amplified digeridoo, rock kazoo(Jax
Bingo's 5-min kazoo solo on Man
Sandwich is the pinnacle for that instrument) and electric
wash-tub. All smoking hot. It was then the house lights finally came
up revealing the performers to us. They were all wearing brightly
covered clothing and might have been mistaken for Devo had it not been
for the fact that they rocked so hard. From then on they railed
through Super with a side of
Awesome. Playing 5 tracks without stopping. Again the booming
voice, as the band finally took a short break, just said "Lights." The
stage lights came down, but black lights came up showing the band
completely decked out in pink fluorescence, but where it was really
coming from seemed a mystery...almost as if the band was glowing on
their own. Finally the band started again, ripping into style="font-style: italic;">Punk Rock Cowbell and when the
final drum solo had ended(there were three, all different and
unbelievably all awesome) that was it. They said good night after only
30min and without playing the single Give me your love (and my hairdryer back). But what a
rush...I felt like I had drank cocaine-laced espressos with ecstasy
chasers, I was so excited I was shaking. I look over to none other
than Jack White...he looks at me and mouths the words "Fuck the
Beatles." And I couldn't agree more. We'd found the new kings of Rock
and Roll and it took only 45min. Now there was only one thing left to
do...meet the band, but that will have to wait for some other time.

That IS a delicious bass.

iTunes now has the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack for sale - 42 songs and audio snippets to savor for only $9.99! Listen to them at iTunes or here. It never gets old.

Adult free-style backstroke

Does anyone watch Adult Swim? I catch it probably once a month. I was in tears last night - of joy, that is. Robot Chicken, with the short about the tooth fairy visiting the boy with abusive parents; and the villians stuck in morning rush-hour traffic? Only those gifted with a unique blend of nuttiness and childlike-humor understand the genius of that show. I, proudly, am one of those people. Sealab 2021 was unreal - Max Storm, Extreme Trillionare!!! If I ever want someone to do something for me, I'm just going to yell 'WHIPCRACK!' It works for Max Storm. Plus, he travels around with a guy who busts out raging guitar solos and song to punctuate Max's sentences. I have to say I haven't watched enough Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Doesn't a certain McNamara have the seasons on DVD?

It was a good night last night. Oh yes, it was a good night.

It is time.

Hide your mothers and fathers, The Super Fucking Awesome have arrived.

Oh, Tuesday...

Mars Volta. Frances the Mute. If you aren't a fan, you don't know what you're missing. I couldn't wait (and neither could Ron) to take a listen to the 7,000 minute odessey. It's...explosive. The sound comes at you in these wild bursts and my body must jump and thrust and move. I also picked up The Zutons (will probably be one of my favorite; perfect on a sunny morning rush-hour drive) and the new They Might Be Giants. The Johns and The Dans can do no wrong.

AMBER AND CHRIS ARE ALMOST HERE. I am ready for what will probably be a memorable game night on Friday. Plus WAB on Sunday, not to mention what other goodies are in store for all of us. The gang's all here.

Now, I may be a nerd, but even I can't see the point of this. Lord of the Disasters, for sure.

These drugs are quick

I heart antibiotics. I'm already feeling better and it's been after only one day of medicating. Beautiful. I've learned my lesson - soak my entire body in orange juice and take a multivitamin every morning before a rock marathon.

I've been iTunes crazy. Recent favorites include:
Ben Folds - Bitches Ain't Shit (laugh until you pee)
Aqueduct - Heart Design
Postal Service - Nothing Better (Styrofoam remix)
Bloc Party EP (I couldn't wait until the 22nd!)
Styrofoam - Couches in Alleys (w/ Ben Gibbard - let's face it. Might at well be a Postal Service tune)
Beck - E-Pro (a dash of Mellow Gold, a sprinkle of Midnight Vultures, and we come full circle.)
Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight, Goodnight

Okay, off to work now. Housesitting this weekend - always a fun mini-vacation complete with hot tub and a bottle of wine. I feel like P Diddy.

*Note from Band Management - due to creative differences and a recently uncovered restraining order, Liz has been fired from the band. We will continue on as The Super Fucking Awesomes. Liz's replacement will be announced soon, along with the tour ittinerary and a track listing from our new album. Thanks very much for your continued patience.

Things that made me laugh today

If you ever want to feel like there are dorkier people than you in the world, check out the "Lost" website. Take a look at the message boards. These people crack me up...they have all the answers, don't they? It's a TV show - it's entertainment! You will not find the meaning of life in Charlie's pants!

Check out the lyrics to R. Kelly's latest bit of musical genius. What. A. Tool. Yes, it's a real song. (March 8th post)

Would we really miss Rusell Crowe that badly? No 'Gladiator 2?' The inhumanity!!!

Rock and roll gave me pharyngitis

Pharyngitis - an inflammation of the pharynx that frequently results in a sore throat. It may be caused by a variety of microorganisms.

Yeah, microorganisms of rock and roll. My throat infection extended past Monday and into today. I went to the doctor yesterday and received my diagnosis and an antibiotic. I can't believe it. It's my 'livin' on the edge' lifestyle that got me in trouble. Since a) I've had mono in the past, and b) one of the main contributors to pharyngitis is smoking (not that I smoke, but I practically lived in unventalated clubs for four days straight), I've had to deal with my fiery punishment.

Let this be a lesson to you - if you rock, make sure you have all of your vaccinations first.

A bad case of the rock

Ugghhhhh...wouldn't it figure? I wake up Sunday, and once again, I can't sleep in. And, my throat starts to hurt. By 8pm, I can barely swallow and by 10:30 I can hardly speak. I toss and turn all night, go through hot/cold temperature phases, and now I'm finally getting my throat back to normal. You see, this is what happens when you rock out for four days and your body refuses to get enough rest. It sucks. I took a two hour nap this morning and feel much better.

Blowout goodness to come...I had so much fun...I'd do it all over again, for sure.

Two down, two to go

Will post more tomorrow...if the rest of the weekend mirrors the last two days, Liz will be extremely happy and extremely exhausted and probably sore. Two best moments of the night: Moustache guy was in Birdgang (who turned out to be pretty decent) and the JaggerGirls hounded The Prime Ministers, with Uncle Grambo and Damore chatting "Jagger-best!"...those girls looked incredibly frightened. "Why do all these boys look so dirty and smelly?" "Why do they keep staring?" Because Blowout Dude doesn't get to see fine young things like you on a regular basis IN PERSON, sweetie. Ye shall be gawked at and ye shall rejoce. Deal with it.

Top performance included The Prime Ministers, Birdgang and Loretta Lucas, who magically cast a spell over the entire crowd. Anyone who did not attend missed out on something grand. The voice, the saucy smile, the sexy, smooth inflection...totally crushable.

Okay, back to work now...more tomorrow. Tonight: Saturday Looks Good To Me, Bang Bang and much, much more! Get your chicken fingers at the Knights of Columbus while they're hot!

"HEY, CAN I GET A WATER!?!" Geez, Matt, you were thirsty :)

One down, three more to go

I'm feeling surprisingly well this morning. I mean, I've only been at work for about a half hour, so we'll see. Last night was much fun. Lee Marvin Computer Arm scored big time. Wild trumpet, wild tambourine, and so much rock I just wanted to dance and scream and break a bottle over my head. I refrained from the latter, but you're pickin' up what I'm throwin' down, right? Thurderbirds Are Now! were a bucket of fun as well. I love synthesizer and I thought that Scott Allen was going to either snap his neck or hurl himself into the crowd. TAN! - 1, Tambourine - 0. Where has the Dorkwave dance party been all my life? So much great music circa the 1980s, plus, throw in some Shelia E and some Adult. and watch the indie kids go mental. Now that's MY kind of dance party. Plus, I scored a slice from Sgt. Pepperoni's, so all is in balance with the world.

Oh, and 'Lost'...I am physically incapable of waiting six weeks for a new episode. The numbers are cursed! The numbers are cursed! WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Hurley's not dead, Locke know how to make glue and we still don't know where the polar bears came from! AHHHH! I haven't watch Alias yet...no spoilers, please.

Okay, to work, to work I go...

One down, three more to go

I'm feeling surprisingly well this morning. I mean, I've only been at work for about a half hour, so we'll see. Last night was much fun. Lee Marvin Computer Arm scored big time. Wild trumpet, wild tambourine, and so much rock I just wanted to dance and scream and break a bottle over my head. I refrained from the latter, but you're pickin' up what I'm throwin' down, right? Thurderbirds Are Now! were a bucket of fun as well. I love synthesizer and I thought that Scott Allen was going to either snap his neck or hurl himself into the crowd. TAN! - 1, Tambourine - 0. Where has the Dorkwave dance party been all my life? So much great music circa the 1980s, plus, throw in some Shelia E and some Adult. and watch the indie kids go mental. Now that's MY kind of dance party. Plus, I scored a slice from Sgt. Pepperoni's, so all is in balance with the world.

Oh, and 'Lost'...I am physically incapable of waiting six weeks for a new episode. The numbers are cursed! The numbers are cursed! WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Hurley's not dead, Locke know how to make glue and we still don't know where the polar bears came from! AHHHH! I haven't watch Alias yet...no spoilers, please.

Okay, to work, to work I go...

Apply within for rock and roll

I'm starting a band. It is called Liz and the Super Fucking Awesomes. Tell me what intrument you play and why you want to be in my band. Requirements include that you apply...that's all. All applicants receive a free cheetah. Instruments preferred: the key-tar, the digeridoo, the triangle, 12-string bass guitar, and the kazoo. No instrument will be turned away. Just think of us like The Polyphonic Spree, but scarier and without the robes. I'm thinking florescent leather corsets and/or stonewashed denim...but I'm open to any suggestions. We open up for Stop Whining on their North American tour starting in June.

Thanks,
Band Management.

Before the day begins

I love when people get a little kick in the pants for being inconsiderate. Rule of thumb: when it snows about four inches over night, make sure you brush off your entire car. Yes, that means the top of your car as well. Sure, it might take two extra minutes, but trust me, you'll be a lot safer. This morning, on 696 as per usual, I had to make a suddern stop, and so did the car behind me. But the car behind me didn't have that crucial two minutes to spare and all the snow that was on his/her car roof came crashing down over his windsheild. I laughed and laughed. You get what you deserve, sweetie buns!!!

On a lighter note, I listened to Catherine Wheel's "Wishville" on the way to work this morning. Incredibly solid. I've always enjoyed this band, but this album was exactly what I needed today. I'd even say it's damn near perfect. Okay, ready...set...start your day!